tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post9223009628748208096..comments2023-10-27T23:44:12.947-07:00Comments on Love from the Asexual Underground: What Asexual People WantDJ DJhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/12425252337370070561noreply@blogger.comBlogger15125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-6991837460503127612012-12-19T14:45:46.902-08:002012-12-19T14:45:46.902-08:00Hello,i dated this man for 11/2 years, we were ver...Hello,i dated this man for 11/2 years, we were very , honest about our feelings, he suffers from prostate cancer, and has no desire for sex,i also suffered from cancer, i did notice that and realize and have studied, researched prostate cancer and have educated myself....hr did point out to me that he has had a problem with his ability to sustain an erection, as far back as he can remember..he broke up with me, let me back up we have known each other for 38 yrs but have become very close,,, what I'm trying to get at is, he wants to be with me all the time, calls me every day. He confides in me.I'm confused as to maybe he it's asexual and doesn't know it.i have brought to his attention that the sex part means nothing to me.but the caring, loving, part is more important.where this issue has been going On for so long in his life i was wondering how and if i should bring this up.i love him dearly and would be happy just being in a asexual relationship.he has gone to sex therapist to try an understand himself.help?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-82937609305542801992012-12-12T21:50:28.007-08:002012-12-12T21:50:28.007-08:00Hi again. Found the post with the advice I was see...Hi again. Found the post with the advice I was seeking, here it is! Thanks again.PleaseStopGropingMenoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-35841467945232573512012-05-19T22:24:06.117-07:002012-05-19T22:24:06.117-07:00hello!
these past few days I've been looking ...hello!<br /><br />these past few days I've been looking for more informations about asexual people. The reason is that I met a really nice guy and we start to hang out.. He is the most beautiful person Ive met in all my life.. He is so kind and pure!! I like to be with him, I feel in peace.. but Im terrified now, after we tried to have sex and he told me that he is asexual, but Im not terrified about NOT having sex, but in losing him, as he told me (and I read) that asexual people dont feel atract for anyone.. he said he likes me, but he doesnt know if its just bcs Im cool.. I dont know what to do.. I wouldnt mind in live all my life without sex, I dont really enjoy it! its just the idea of no having the same feeling back.. I would love to hear anything from you about my story.. thank you!<br /><br />my e-mail is anaestevesrangel@hotmail.com<br />I would love to talk more about this by email.<br /><br />thank you so much!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-32341110074111511302010-06-09T01:02:33.964-07:002010-06-09T01:02:33.964-07:00I wish I was Asexual honestly i do if only there w...I wish I was Asexual honestly i do if only there was a way.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-44269802614157482362010-04-20T12:14:33.323-07:002010-04-20T12:14:33.323-07:00hey
i was never familiar with asexuality until th...hey<br /><br />i was never familiar with asexuality until the person i am i love with confessed to me that he thinks he may be asexual. ive been a longtime supporter/ activist in the lgbt/ sex positive movement and when he first said this, i felt that he was trying to hurt me or push me away. but after more communication, i realized that he was 'coming out' to me because he trusted that i wouldnt run away and leave him alone. <br /><br />he's trying to learn more about asexuality at the moment and ive shared the AVEN link with him- it helped me learn a lot. that said, i feel pessimistic about the future, because i am such a sexual person, and jealousy, exclusivity and so on are so hardwired into my way of thinking about the world. i am beginning to become more attuned to asexual intimacy though, and our amazing communication has helped me have insights about how much my own sexuality/ the sexual component of my relationships has often just functioned as a way to make up for the tragic lack of connection in other ways.<br /><br />i guess im a little low because i love sexual chemistry, but also learning a lot and challenging my own perceptions- because we have mad mental chemistry which is really amazing and electrifying in a different way.<br /><br />if you can help me get in touch with sexual/ asexual pairings and relationship models that have worked, i would like that.<br /><br />thanks.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-4827116648846054252009-03-12T15:55:00.000-07:002009-03-12T15:55:00.000-07:00i'm a sexual person who has been struggling trying...i'm a sexual person who has been struggling trying to have a satisfying relationship with an a-sexual person. until now, i've been feeling rejected by a partner who an only say 'i am just not sexually attracted to you' without further explanaton. this has been confusing as he seems to want a romantic relationship and to mean, that would include sex. a couple of times he did refer to himself as being 'a-sexual' but i didn't really 'get it'. so i am hoping to learn more from reading your site. your information does makes sense to me, but is new to me and so it might take me a while to 'get it' and/or accept 'it'... thanks anyway.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-86790360983723863792009-01-25T18:28:00.000-08:002009-01-25T18:28:00.000-08:00Hey, I was reading and I've been really depressed ...Hey, I was reading and I've been really depressed for a long time. It's seemed like people have never been interested in being close to you unless it had something to do with sexual things which I'm really not interested in. I love people more than anything in the whole world. I get miserable because it feels like it's impossible to be important to people unless they get "something" out of you. Sometimes I've been tempted to let them do what they will so that I'll be important, but I just go away and then they go away because they see it as nothing to be gained. Thanks for the blog, It gives me hope that the're people out there who will love me for me instead of the usual people who are only interested in using me. However, I still think it is important to have children. How else would the world have people. Not only that but children deserve a loving home. That's why I'll have a family if I meet the right person, but I just don't want to be used.delebrodehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11492512438940259046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-21949000418949159672009-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:002009-01-25T18:26:00.000-08:00This comment has been removed by the author.delebrodehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11492512438940259046noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-40155354233737568502008-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:002008-11-10T19:39:00.000-08:00Thanks for writing this.Thanks for writing this.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-44802180134285604732008-08-30T05:43:00.000-07:002008-08-30T05:43:00.000-07:00Have you ever considered making Youtube video post...Have you ever considered making Youtube video posts?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-31032198053109322052008-08-29T23:28:00.000-07:002008-08-29T23:28:00.000-07:00Can't disagree with any of that, although you migh...Can't disagree with any of that, although you might not want to use "Institutionalization" in the broader world, as it kind of has straitjacket connotations... :-)<BR/>Someone (I forget who it was, apologies) told me that aces need to do "content generation", and I attached myself to that idea like a barnacle on a pier. Pretty similar to what Gray Lady is saying...we need more ways to be "findable" even if you're not looking all that hard. For instance, I think it would be really cool to have some kind of intro video to asexuality or AVEN...I'll probably be working on some such thing when I reach the fine day of obtaining a video camera.<BR/><BR/>(You need to post more, sir!)Ilyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12795337226989102549noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-1151746561797384162008-08-29T23:17:00.000-07:002008-08-29T23:17:00.000-07:00I agree with pretzelboy- I think it would be helpf...I agree with pretzelboy- I think it would be helpful if we could gather first-person narratives from asexuals in one spot, perhaps organized by tags (age ranges, emotions, experiences)... I think personal stories really help "flesh out" the asexual experience, and while you could dig through the AVEN forums, it would be more accessible to have static content dedicated to this... <BR/>That said, great post- as usual :)The Impossible Khttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14085185367011832570noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-61240692545099587612008-08-29T16:11:00.000-07:002008-08-29T16:11:00.000-07:00You know, I always feel like I have nothing to say...You know, I always feel like I have nothing to say after reading your posts, just because you always hit the nail right on the head, so much so that any comment I could think of would be a fairly useless nodding-of-the-head. You're right on in this too, I think everything that we want does fall into those four basic categories. <BR/><BR/>One thing I would add is that I would like to see the development of asexual literature. We have a starting point now with this small network of blogs, but I would like to see the creation of a body of published works relating to asexuality. And by that I mean all manner of works: fiction, non-fiction, poetry, academic studies, and film as well. So in a way, this can be categorized both as visibility and institutionalization, since it would be both a representation of asexuality in our culture(s) and a part of academia (and if we succeed in getting LGBT and sex-positive groups to acknowledge us, there would probably be significant overlap with their literature too). Actually, if you think about it, this really could encompass all four categories, since books could be written to provide support and explore alternative relationship styles as well (and in that area, there's some potential overlap with the polyamorous community). I guess in that sense it's a deeper goal, which will take more time to accomplish but once it is, it will encompass everything else. For me, it's the ultimate goal, because I really want to see our stories out there in the world in a way that right now, they just aren't.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-29413261671161681052008-08-29T04:38:00.000-07:002008-08-29T04:38:00.000-07:00All really good points and very comprehensive. I ...All really good points and very comprehensive. I think you are on the right track and your mission is correct. I def agree with siding with LGBT groups and pushing for asexual education within sex-ed courses. Not so sure about aligning with sex-positive movement, they may see asexuals as pathological and not embrace asexuality as a genuine orientation and identity.Queers Unitedhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05074493276489593816noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-29867661.post-71268578207067079892008-08-28T17:30:00.000-07:002008-08-28T17:30:00.000-07:00I'm definitely with you on these points. I think ...I'm definitely with you on these points. I think one additional thing that I personally would like to see deals with the issue of support. AVEN has been really helpful for me for trying to understand myself and it certainly has been for others, but I would like to see more in the way of resources for those questioning/newly identified as asexual. Right now, there is the FAQ and some static content on the main page, but not all that much. I don't mean to criticize these at all--I think it's a great FAQ and I think it's where everyone should start.<BR/><BR/>When I first thought I might be asexual, I spent a lot of time trying to read people's stories to see if they were like mine--I wanted to find others identifying as asexual whose story fit the main features that made me think I was asexual. But to do this and to get an idea of the general range that exists within asexuality, it took a lot of time reading lots of posts trying to find something that really spoke to me, etc. The forums are great, but they take a long time to learn to navigate and they aren't a very time efficient way of getting information. Having them is unimaginably better than not having them, but I don't feel that they're the best place to start. So I guess the thing I would like to see is more resources for people newly identifying as asexual.ACHhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/06643809450938135601noreply@blogger.com